Winds of Change

Whenever I think of the phrase, "winds of change", it always reminds me of my first husband.  He often associated windy days with a time of change – usually monumental.

It is spring here and this spring it has been windy out.  Not violently windy like it was during the winter that rattled my windows but softly windy.  A soft wind that blows your hair gently, cools down the the hot sun and passes the scent of spring past your nose.

With that wind, comes change for me.   I look forward to that change because it is something that I have been wanting for a long time.  And yet,  I face it with some sadness because not all of the change will be for the better.  Some things that will go missing will not be missed.  They caused me great unhappiness.  Some things that will go missing will be missed dearly.   It was those moments that kept me going through the winter of my unhappiness that make me realize that having no possibility of experiencing them again will cause great sorrow.   Unfortunately, what I will miss is far outweighed by what I won’t miss.  This change is for the best and can see that truth in my heart.

While waiting for the change to happen,  I was in stasis.  I mostly avoided my friends.  I avoided this blog.  I avoided my life.  It was better to float along avoiding everything than to continually confront the reasons why I was unhappy.   I hope this new awakening for the earth is also a new awakening for me.